I have been in some very embarrassing situations at work when heated angry words are exchanged between colleagues. A few years back I myself had gone through some difficult times when I used to get angry at smallest issues and had broken my hand trying to hit a TV and broken many a glasses in a fit of anger. I had used abusive language for my own people and family. Some counseling sessions helped me regain myself and made me more stable and confident. When I think now why I used to get angry and why I justified my anger – it feels very funny. One of the reasons I can recollect now telling my counsellor was “Anger is a natural response to someone else’s behavior. I get upset because some one didn’t do the think I wanted him/her to do. Secondly, I have to be angry to assert myself on others. I have to use this as a weapon”. Looking back to all the incidences in my life in the past and what all the people do around me when they are angry, I just can not help myself other than laughing at this foolishness.
What changed in me that minimized my anger? The counselor increased my self awareness. I realized that anger begins with an irritation towards something or a person. As more and more attention I gave to this irritation it led to frustration and then anger and then rage. The method is simple – find the root cause of anger. When that is known there are two choices – to stop creating it or continue creating it. The choice is ours. There is no reason to justify creating anger.
Medically also it has been proved that anger has ill effect on health. Its a fact and not just a “movie thing” when they show people with having heart attacks when in rage or anger. The only way to find solution is to ask ourselves – Does anger help? What value is peace in my life? Can I forgive? Is it difficult to forgive? It has to be acknowledged and understood that we are the creator of our emotions and not any other person or thing. Few years back I had heard two phrases in one of the religious discourses that my Grand Mom was listening on TV which influenced me tremendously – Let Be and Let Go. When ever I am upset I try to remember these words. They help.