Toolkit to Manage Anger

We go through many situations in life which cause emotions of anger inside us. This anger comes out in the form of outburst on trivial things. It negatively effects relationships. Many times with some of our family members or friends or even in some other unimportant interactions, we are tested by our anger. Many researches in the world show how anger is harmful for our health. Illnesses like blood pressure, heart attacks, insomnia, back aches and other problems like digestive disorders, are caused by angry outbursts. Anger is a weakness and you lose respect with it. You lose cooperation and love from people.

Like many of us, I used anger as a weapon in, what we sometimes call, controlling people, forgetting that it is not possible to control people, but it is easy to influence them. Influencing people is always easier and that can take place with peace and love and keeping good wishes. Anger ultimately blocks us from whatever goal we are trying to achieve. Anger can never make you content and happy. Anger is counterproductive. Many a times, anger comes from the overblown sense of self-importance. Often, we also get angry to get attention.

You may be exercising regularly. As a health-freak, you may be routinely consuming protein and vegetables and getting good 7 to 8 hours of sleep every night. Despite all the care, your body develops bouts of illnesses. The question that would come to your mind – What more should I do to lead a healthy lifestyle? Always know our feelings and thoughts create a subtle energy body. While diet, sleep and exercise influence physical health, a clean energy body is needed to sustain a perfect physical body. Emotional stress and anger manifest as an illness in our physical body. Release past hurt. Forgive people to heal yourself. Remain calm and stable to cleanse the body. We have the power to create a healthy mind, which then creates a healthy body and a happy life.

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.

1 ) Write a journal or log whenever you get angry. You will be surprised what it reveals. Monitor every episode of anger, from fleeting moments of frustration or impatience, to extreme rage. For each one, note down the facts, the intensity of your anger (in a scale of 0-10, 10 being maximum rage). This habit of systematically describing your angry outbursts is often all that one needs in order to gain a little perspective.

2) Watch yourself angry. Roger Federer used to throw his racquet in anger during his earlier days and says watching himself throwing tantrums put him off it for life. The angry are often proud of their anger. Even if they leave a scene having achieved nothing (such as shouting at another car driver from behind the closed windows of their car). Re imagine in your head the scene again. You will feel embarrassed of yourself.

3) Take care of yourself. Most of the time you will find you are angry because of alcohol, hunger, stress, fatigue, unmet needs, PMS. Get some sleep; take some time off; streamline your week; delegate; relax; improve your diet. In short, look after yourself.

4) Become less judgemental – Most of the things in life are matter of opinion and not fact. Some religion propagates worshiping of cow and some eats beef. You may object to lovers kissing on public benches; there will almost always be someone who agrees with you, and others who staunchly oppose you. If you think its “Just the way I was brought up” or “my way of doing things”—then it is silly to judge others for not following them. It helps to remind yourself of the many different ways in which humans around the world operate.

5) Understand that anger is a problem. Anger is an in effective way of working in this world. It will mostly backfire and ruin relationships. Studies say 80% of the time people direct their anger on their family and friends. These are not the people you wish to intimidate. Understand that having a warm relationship is the key to emotional health and well-being. And if you cannot sort it out yourself, seek professional help like I did. There is no shame in going to a Doctor to sort it out. It is like any other disease.

Anger is counterproductive. Anger hurts not just ourselves but many others as well. Always look at the bigger picture. Replace anger with love, gratitude and purpose. You will be a winner. You will build a solid foundation to ‘Reboot your life’.

December 4, 2022

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