Toolkit to Manage Anger
Illustration by Kanupriya Singh (Twitter @_KanupriyaS)
1 ) Write a journal or log whenever you get angry. You will be surprised what it reveals. Monitor every episode of anger, from fleeting moments of frustration or impatience, to extreme rage. For each one, note down the facts, the intensity of your anger (in a scale of 0-10, 10 being maximum rage). This habit of systematically describing your angry outbursts is often all that one needs in order to gain a little perspective.
2) Watch yourself angry. Roger Federer used to throw his racquet in anger during his earlier days and says watching himself throwing tantrums put him off it for life. The angry are often proud of their anger. Even if they leave a scene having achieved nothing (such as shouting at another car driver from behind the closed windows of their car). Re imagine in your head the scene again. You will feel embarrassed of yourself.
3) Take care of yourself. Most of the time you will find you are angry because of alcohol, hunger, stress, fatigue, unmet needs, PMS. Get some sleep; take some time off; streamline your week; delegate; relax; improve your diet. In short, look after yourself.
4) Become less judgemental – Most of the things in life are matter of opinion and not fact. Some religion propagates worshiping of cow and some eats beef. You may object to lovers kissing on public benches; there will almost always be someone who agrees with you, and others who staunchly oppose you. If you think its “Just the way I was brought up” or “my way of doing things”—then it is silly to judge others for not following them. It helps to remind yourself of the many different ways in which humans around the world operate.
5) Understand that anger is a problem. Anger is an in effective way of working in this world. It will mostly backfire and ruin relationships. Studies say 80% of the time people direct their anger on their family and friends. These are not the people you wish to intimidate. Understand that having a warm relationship is the key to emotional health and well-being. And if you cannot sort it out yourself, seek professional help like I did. There is no shame in going to a Doctor to sort it out. It is like any other disease.
Anger is counterproductive. Anger hurts not just ourselves but many others as well. Always look at the bigger picture. Replace anger with love, gratitude and purpose. You will be a winner. You will build a solid foundation to ‘Reboot your life’.
December 26, 2021