Toolkit for a Happy Married Life

Going through different stages of life and relationships is never easy. It’s easy to break down, fall apart or become numb and completely lose yourself along the way. After 32 years we can say Love isn’t enough. Here’s a tool kit that helped us through ups and down in our relationship.

  1. Have realistic expectations. Happily ever after doesn’t exist. Somedays it’s struggle and somedays you feel like the luckiest person in the world.
  2. Respect is the most important factor in a relationship. Not love, kids, religion, communication etc etc.
  3. Talk about everything. Most importantly things that hurt. The key to maintain trust is being transparent to each other.
  4. Give each other loads of space. Two healthy individuals make relationship work. Give your partner freedom and independence. Let them be who they are.
  5. Like you build muscles and become stronger by doing resistance, similarly relationship needs resistance to grow. Be good at fighting each other. Obstacles make the marriage.
  6. Do not bring previous fights into current one. Being right is not important. Get good at forgiving.
  7. Sex matters … a lot.
  8. There is no 50:50 rule like you do half dishes and I bring half money. We all have things we are good at and not good at. Accept that. Be practical.
  9. Don’t be too influenced by family, friends, parents, kids.
  10. Don’t stop doing the little things.
Eventually parents die, kids grow up. You are only one left together. Parents are expected to make sacrifices for children and I think that’s bullshit. Good kids don’t make a marriage. A good marriage makes good kids. So take care of each other.

December 5, 2021

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