Tobu- my guru of happiness and patience
Since the last three weeks we have at home a distant cousin of mine from my Moms side. His name is Pratush Panpalia but he is called TOBU by every one. In fact I came to know about his real name yesterday evening. Always am used to calling him by his PET name.Tobu is 15 year old short highted and studies in Class IX. He lives in a joint family with 45 members – four generations. The eldest being his great grand mother and youngest as I recall is one and half years old cousin. There family is a perfect example of how a joint family can survive in today’s world. I hope they get covered up by the media so that people can learn from it. The Big Boss of the family is his Grandfather. As I understand the whole system runs on his command but with enough freedom for every members to lead there personal life. All the male adult members will have a family meeting every evening to clear any ill feelings, if at all , has aroused. As they live in a very small town so theres not much commuting. There are two cars they have and if some one needs the car he has to make a prior booking with the master of the house. Any one late for work is penalised financially and prior information needs to be given for leave etc. Any way that was not my purpose of this blog.
Tobu is a very funny guy. He does things funny to keep you always smiling and laughing. We went to the movie yesterday (By the way dont dare to see “De Tali”) and he entered the Ladies toilet by mistake. He sits on the chair in the movie hall without pulling his chair out and bang… falls on the floor. The list is endless. Every one in the family tease him and make fun with him. But what I have noticed he enjoys these teasing, laughs at himself but never reacts. He is never mad. What a virtue, man? He has bought so much of happiness in the family. I see my Grand Mom, Dad, Mom all enjoying with him so much. This makes me so happy when I see them happy. But how does he manage to do this. Its like Nirvana – Always being Happy. Above anxiety & anger.
When I was teenager – happiness for me was a byproduct of meeting my goals. A good athletic body, a good grade, a beautiful girlfriend, popularity, lots of money would make me happy. How ever i was never good in meeting my these goals but was also able to realise that if all this was right then this would condemn all those who are not ‘best’ into misery. And then I used to also find that all those who were ‘Best” were also not happy.Then I used to think if I had a happy married life – I would be happy. I was looking for a warm, happy, self confident, intelligent, honest, having similar interest like me….. and more girl as my wife. I would have died a bachelor if I would have continued with my search with all these qualities in a girl.
After almost 20 years into my marriage and on the other side of the life cycle, I understand that the only quality required is “to be HAPPY and make others happy”. TOBU falls in that perfectly. I wish and hope he comes to us every summer holidays and keeps us smiling and Happy. Thank you TOBU
June 23, 2008