The burden of being good

We all must have grown up being told to be good to all. We all try also. May be at our young age we keep the vindictive attitude towards some one for something they did wrong to us but now at this middle age I am trying to be good to every one and every thing. But there are times when I feel suffocated at being Good. I feel may be I am not doing Good to myself being always good to others. The environment around me is now such that I feel I am a role model for lot of people may be in my family, relatives or even my team at work. I dont want to be one. The weight is too heavy to carry and my own Bucket List is taking a beating. How do I balance the role of a good father, son, husband and Boss with my own desires?
If you recollect Peter Parker in Spiderman ,Spidey is ruining Peters life – he’s failing school, cant hold down a job and has alienated his good friends. Wearing the spider suit is too exhilarating. Being Good is also an addiction. But is it worth? And if you think the way I am then why do we carry this burden on our kids.
In todays competitive world we put so much of burden. If I feel the pressure with not much expected out of me I can feel how much it goes on the achievers. As parents we put so much pressure by punishing a child for doing poorly or rewarding him for doing well. I believe we should emphasize on learning for the sake of learning and not grades. We should let the kids find there passion. We are so stereo type in being parent. Similar is with the rest of the people we are associated with. Our expectations is so high from our close ones that we actually miss the big picture and fun. I might get upset if I dont get my cup of tea in time and that fear in my wife has so much pressure on her that the fun of having tea together is gone. It becomes stereotype life. Monotonous. Same routine, no thrill and fun. If everyone looks into his/her past, they would agree that they would have missed out of so much fun in there life as a child or teenager – like running away from classes to see movie, climbing trees in neighbors house to steal some guavas, to play in the sun and dust, to go for a date, to try out alcohol or hitting some classmate for no reason etc…….- if they had listened to all that there parents expected them of.
As Sumant once told to Sangeet, ‘ Set the expectation level’ and you will be happy and so will be all. I agree with him. We should have minimum expectation and I think we will have more fun.

July 2, 2008

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