
First impressions matter. Experts say we size up new people somewhere in between 30 seconds and two minutes: Elliott Abrams
First impressions are really important. When you meet someone for the first time, the way you look and act is seared into their brain, and it will undoubtedly influence any future dealings you have with that person.
First impressions matter, so remember to smile and use welcoming body language. The first thing someone sees is your face, so this is where a good first impression begins. A smile can make a big difference in whether or not you win someone over. People can spot a fake smile, so let the grin grow slowly, as this will make it appear more personal and genuine. Another tip is to avoid giving everyone in a group the same smile, as this can put people off. Try to vary your grin as you deal with different people. It’s important to recognise that just because someone’s a stranger, it doesn’t mean you have to act like he/she is one. Instead, when greeting someone for the first time, do so as if you are greeting an old friend. Along with a warm smile, turn your body fully toward them so they can see you’re giving her your undivided attention. Keep your hand gestures under control. It may sound odd, but studies show that if you touch your face when you talk, it makes you seem less credible – so keep calm, and keep your hands away from your face.
A smooth introduction is all that’s needed to get a good conversation going. The easiest way to make that introduction happen is to request it from a mutual friend or the person hosting the event you’re at. Alternatively, you can ask the host a few questions about the stranger so that you have a way to start the conversation yourself. No one wants to be stuck in a conversation where someone is droning on about some boring and seemingly endless story. So to ensure you’re not inflicting this upon other people, pay close attention to how they are speaking and responding. Try to match their mood and tone of voice, and the chances are, everyone will be attentive and engaged. When you spot your chance to enter a conversation, the best thing to do is be confident in what you say and engage with a positive attitude. Another winning tip is to focus on being a good listener, and knowing how to keep your partner talking. Build rapport through imitating, empathising and acting like a close friend. People tend to like those with whom they have traits in common. This is something you can use to your advantage by highlighting the commonalities you have with the person you’re trying to flatter. When we talk, we tend to subconsciously reply with monosyllabic mumblings such as “huh,” “ya” etc,” just to acknowledge that we’re listening. But if you want to make a good impression, use full sentences that show your partner that you’re truly listening, like, “That was the right thing to do,” or, “I see why you did that.” This will help your partner see that you really understand them. Another top-notch rapport booster that will take you from being mere acquaintances to close friends in no time, is adopting two powerful words: “we” and “us.” For the most part, people tend to use these words only when speaking of their closest friends and partners. By using these words around someone you want to bring into your inner circle, you’ll speed up the friendship-forming process. So rather than saying, “What do you think about this Russia Ukraine war?” try saying, “How do you think we’ll do with the Russia Ukraine war?“ Finally, learn to cultivate jokes. They are a cornerstone of any close relationship. If you want to quickly form a bond, remember when funny remarks and shared laughs occur, and you cleverly bring them up again later on, you’ll have a memorable, shared history between the two of you!
Get the most out of every party by making a strong entrance and taking the initiative.
Many people attend parties just to have a good time. While there’s nothing wrong with that, you can also go in a bit more ambitiously. Here are some tips for how you can meet and impress all the movers and shakers in attendance.
Once again, that first impression is all-important.
The technique for a dramatic entrance is simple: Before entering, pause at the doorway and give the room a scan. Once you’ve surveyed the premises and deemed them satisfactory, you can smile and step inside. This kind of dramatic entrance is sure to impress those in attendance.
Once inside, you should take the initiative and immediately gravitate toward the most interesting person in the room. If you stand around waiting for someone to come to you, you could end up alone for long, with few opportunities to meet those movers and shakers.
When you do have someone’s undivided attention, it’s time to put all that you’ve read above to work – but here’s a bonus tip.
Be mindful of your hands; avoid gestures that might subconsciously register as threatening, like showing the back of your hand. Instead, adopt an open and inviting posture, with your palms facing outward.
Remember to listen, and take mental notes of what the other person is saying, as it will likely prove useful later. This includes personal details they may reveal and anything else that seems important to them. By bringing one of these details up in your next meeting, you’re certain to make a great impression.
Everyone should know the importance of making a good first impression, how to use non-threatening and positive body language, giving effective praise and how to come to meetings prepared with valuable information.
One helpful trick is to jot down interesting facts on the back of a person’s business card as soon as you finish talking to them. Then, the next time you meet, you can impress them by mentioning one or two personal details.
Recently we had a health scare at home and Dad had to be rushed to emergency for Stroke. Thankfully it was some Blood pressure medicine issue and he is ok but that me research about what can be done to prevent Stroke. Most of what is suggested below is from various Harvard Medical School studies.
What can you do to prevent stroke? Age makes us more susceptible to having a stroke, as does having a mother, father, or other close relative who has had a stroke.
You can’t reverse the years or change your family history, but there are many other stroke risk factors that you can control—provided that you’re aware of them. Knowledge is power. If you know that a particular risk factor is sabotaging your health and predisposing you to a higher risk of stroke, you can take steps to alleviate the effects of that risk.
How to prevent stroke
Here are seven ways to start reining in your risks today to avoid stroke, before a stroke has the chance to strike.
1. Lower blood pressure
High blood pressure is a huge factor, doubling or even quadrupling your stroke risk if it is not controlled. High blood pressure is the biggest contributor to the risk of stroke in both men and women. Monitoring blood pressure and, if it is elevated, treating it, is probably the biggest difference people can make to their vascular health.
Your goal: An ideal goal is maintaining a blood pressure of less than 120/80. But there may be good reasons why you and your doctor will not want your readings to be this low. For some, a less aggressive goal (such as no higher than 140/90) may be more appropriate.
Actionable things:
- Reduce the salt in your diet to no more than 1,500 milligrams a day (about a half teaspoon).
- Avoid high-cholesterol foods, such as burgers, cheese, and ice cream.
- Eat 4 to 5 cups of fruits and vegetables every day, one serving of fish two to three times a week, and several daily servings of whole grains and low-fat dairy.
- Get more exercise — at least 30 minutes of activity a day, and more, if possible.
- Quit smoking, if you smoke.
If needed, take blood pressure medicines.
2. Lose weight
Obesity, as well as the complications linked to it (including high blood pressure and diabetes), raises your odds of having a stroke. If you’re overweight, losing as little as 5 kgs can have a real impact on your stroke risk.
Your goal: While an ideal body mass index (BMI) is 25 or less, that may not be realistic for you. Work with your doctor/nutrition coach to create a personal weight loss strategy.
Actionable item:
- Try to eat less. Find out the sweet spot where you are eating less calories than you are burning.
- Increase the amount of exercise you do with activities like walking, cycling, or playing tennis, and by making activity part of every single day.
3. Exercise more
Exercise contributes to losing weight and lowering blood pressure, but it also stands on its own as an independent stroke reducer.
Your goal: Exercise at a moderate intensity at least five days a week.
Actionable item:
- Take a walk in your neighbourhood park.
- Make a fitness partner.
- When you exercise, reach the level at which you’re breathing hard, but you can still talk. Do aerobic Zone 2 workout.
- Take the stairs instead of an elevator when you can.
- If you don’t have 30 consecutive minutes to exercise, break it up into 10- to 15-minute sessions a few times each day.
4. If you drink — do it in moderation
Drinking a little alcohol, such as an average of one per day, is okay. Best is to avoid ever. Once you start drinking more than two drinks per day, your risk goes up very sharply.
Your goal: Don’t drink alcohol or do it in moderation.
Actionable items:
- Have no more than one glass of alcohol a day.
- Consider red wine as your first choice, which some studies suggest might help prevent heart disease and stroke.
- Watch your portion sizes. A standard-sized drink is a 5-ounce glass of wine, 12-ounce beer, or 1.5-ounce glass of hard liquor.
5. Treat atrial fibrillation
Atrial fibrillation is a form of irregular heartbeat that causes clots to form in the heart. Those clots can then travel to the brain, producing a stroke. Atrial fibrillation carries almost a fivefold risk of stroke, and should be taken seriously.
Your goal: If you have atrial fibrillation, get it treated.
Actionable item:
- If you have symptoms such as heart palpitations or shortness of breath, see your doctor for an exam.
- You may need to take an anticoagulant drug (blood thinner), such as one of the direct-acting anticoagulant drugs to reduce your stroke risk from atrial fibrillation. Your doctors can guide you through this treatment.
6. Treat diabetes
Having high blood sugar damages blood vessels over time, making clots more likely to form inside them.
Your goal: Keep your blood sugar under control.
Actionable items:
- Monitor your blood sugar as directed by your doctor.
- Use diet, exercise, and medicines to keep your blood sugar within the recommended range.
Only 7 weeks to go for The Growth Retreat, a networking event, I am hosting at Rishikesh from 8-11th December 2022. Every week we will bring you a write up by one of the esteemed guest speakers of the Retreat, giving you a sneak peak of what they will be sharing with the participants of the Retreat.
Everyone Can Write
by Sangeeta Mall
‘Everyone Can Write’ is a writing workshop to develop effective communication through the written word. It includes elements of
1. How to begin
2. Some style essentials
3. Normal is boring
Why write? All writing communicates. From the label on a can of beans to the directions for using a washing machine to a romantic novel, everything is communication. All communication has transmission loss. Good writing minimises transmission loss, and the receiver and sender understand each other with accuracy.
Verbal transmission is the most direct form of communication. Eg
‘Talk.’
Is this an instruction, a command, a request?
‘Please talk.’ (Request)
‘Talk into the microphone.’ (Instruction)
‘Talk to me right now.’ (Command)
Busting Myths
Only good writers write well.
Only writers write.
There are no standards for good writing.
Good writing can’t be defined.
What is writing?
A word on a digital or physical page is writing.
What is good effective writing?
- Purposive
- Precise
- Direct
- Original
- Unexpected
Elements of text
- Form
- Content
Form
- Short/long
- Direct/Indirect
- Concise/Descriptive
Content
- Unexpected
- Stylish
- Precise
- Targeted
Sangeeta Mall is the author of 2 novels, Cloud 9 Minus One, published by HarperCollins India, and Flight of the Flamingo, published by Westland Books. Her short story, Twenty Gun Salute, has been adapted into the film, Sunny Side Upar, a part of the anthology, Zindagi in Short on Netflix. Formerly Sangeeta was editor of International Humanist News, and Managing Editor of The Radical Humanist. Sangeeta has done her Masters in Creative Writing from the University of Pittsburgh. Sangeeta began her career as a business executive and is an alum of the Indian Institute of Management, Bangalore. In addition to writing fiction, Sangeeta also conducts creative writing workshops for anyone interested in the art and craft of writing.
You can connect with her on Twitter @sangeetawoman
Motivation is not sustainable, its the small actionable habits that build up and take you to your goals.

This is issue no 52 of the newsletter and this newsletter is one year old. My younger son had suggested casually on the dining table to start something like this and that time I had not even imagined this success. Thank you all the readers and expert contributors. We have covered science backed toolkits about almost everything that helps enhance good health. The best part is all the earnings I had while researching about the subjects we have covered. The added gain has been improvement in my writing skills. Thank You all.
Before I end, Wish you and your near ones Happy Diwali and wonderful holidays. Stay blessed.
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We have also archived all the old issues and you can access them at www.sandeepmall.com. They contain some very good tool kits to take charge of your well being.
See you next week .
Sandeep Mall
The information provided in this newsletter is not medical advice, nor it should be taken as a replacement for medical advice. I am not a medical Doctor so I don’t prescribe anything. Most of the tools suggested are based out of scientific research and my experiments with them. Your healthcare, your wellbeing is your responsibility. Anything we suggest here, please filter it through that responsibility.