Every denial brings attraction

I received a nice mail from my dear friend Rajesh titled.” If you cant enjoy then what is life for”. Basically he shares with me Osho Rajneesh’ s words. I also read and hear a lot of his CD’s and find them so true and practical. Todays write up reminded me of my past and present. I did my schooling at Rama Krishna Mission Vidyapith which is one of the most religious and orthodox schools in the country. It was time of long hairs and bellbottoms. The school authorities wanted us to always wear narrow bottoms and keeping long hairs was just a dream. Watching a hindi bollywood movie was a taboo. The school authorities only showed us Vande Mataram ( I might have seen it so many times that the author Bankim Chandra Chattapadhyay will find it difficult to face me in a quiz on it) or movies based on life of Rama Krishna Paramhans or other religious ones. This restriction on fashion, movies and other things “bad” had such a counter effect that all the guys would compulsorily watch movies everyday during the holidays. Those days there were no multiplexes and movies used to run for weeks. So during most of the holidays it would be one or max two movie changes and each movie was watched nth time. Similar incidences happen now with my kids and how we bring them up. But with all the exposure of todays world – I myself get confused whether going happily to a pub is better than going unhappily to a temple. Is Happiness not the desired end? Are we supposed to do all things for future happiness? Does Life wait for long? Is it all just not NOW. If I am unhappy, something is wrong with myself. If I have some hesitation and feel guilty in doing something that means somewhere some external factor is overshadowing me. Hesitation means there is contradiction. I feel, the more my wife says Icecream is bad for my cholesterol, the more I am attracted to eat it. Denial brings attraction. Every time I have my Ice cream , hesitation crops in. I am unable to enjoy my Ice Cream. Similarly there is hesitation in most of the things in life and I feel I will miss my whole life. Its high time I have to drop my hesitations. I am sure the moment I drop my hesitation ice cream will become an ordinary thing. I will understand that I can enjoy it sometimes and it should not be an obsession. Sometimes even harmful things are not that harmful Obsession is part of repression. Living in hesitation has become a bad habit and as Osho says ,” If you cant enjoy, then what is Life for”. Drop hesitation. Live life happily

August 17, 2010

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