Reactive, Proactive and being parent
Well I have been noticing certain incidences where we are reactive. We react to a situation then being proactive. I have had many incidences at work and home where un necessarily we react to situations. We never are proactive to avoid such situations. We carry an image of somebody or something and always react to that illusions that we have built up in the mind. We are rarely appreciative. I think to be happy I need to change my this habit. I tend to spend my life reacting to situations,events and circumstances rather than creating and shaping them. I regularly wear my seat belt now even if driving within the colony to go for my game of tennis. This is good to do but I should have been wearing my seat belt ever since I have been driving and not in reaction to my accident last month. As I gain more experience in my life I understand a reactive life is not going to bring me happiness. I am surprised how people more mature than me have not yet understood this from there life. I’m talking about proactively, consciously, fearlessly, intelligently and methodically choosing and creating the best life I can think of. Couple of evening back I was just chatting around with Sameep trying to demotivate him from his materialistic things and he seemed to like it and understand it. He ended it with the dialogue that if Papa you had been teaching me all this I might not have been so much in love with everything materialistic. I was really ashamed of myself. I have always been reactive about what he wants or does but never have caught him by his fingers and walked him to the other beauties of life. I understand being Proactive is being scary but it will be rewarding and amazing. I believe I have the oldest kids in my group and from my experience of bringing up my kids – I advise – you have to be a proactive parent. You can never discipline your son/daughter by yelling and shouting. You will also have a vindicating attitude towards them. Reactive parenting will always teach manipulative behaviour. The child will never learn right from wrong and will learn how much she can get away before you have had enough. I have made my mistakes. Minoo still makes this mistake. I am sure I can counsel her now that I understand how I messed up with gem of a boy Sameep is. I hope its not too late.
June 21, 2008